When Vicky Keating’s son Jack moved out of the family home three-and-a-half years ago, although she knew she would miss him, she breathed a sigh of relief.
With four children living at home in their three-bedroom home, before Jack, now 25, moved out, she and her husband John had one bedroom, Jack had his own bedroom and her three daughters Jemma, 22, Ella, 19 and Eva, 14, all shared the biggest bedroom.
As space was a struggle, when Jack moved out to live with his partner and their baby, it meant Eva could move into the room he vacated, leaving the two older girls sharing a room.
However, in October last year, Jack’s relationship broke down and he suddenly arrived back home and since then, the family have had a full house again.
Vicky, 48, who lives in Taunton, told The i Paper their living situation is challenging and makes her feel embarrassed and frustrated that she is not in a financial position to help her children get on the property ladder or move out.
“It is really difficult and sometimes I feel so overwhelmed by it all, it feels like the walls of the house are going to collapse on me,” she said. “We’re not in a financial position to buy a bigger house – and when your children are older, you shouldn’t really be having to do that as they should be planning for their own futures and homes.
“However, at the moment that is too difficult and we feel stuck and the money worries and our situation is putting a strain on me and affecting my mental health and wellbeing.
“As much as I like having Jack back home with me as he is my son, they come to an age where they need their own space. It pains me that we don’t have the room at home for them all to have their own space. I wish I had the funds for a house where we could all fit comfortably.”
Vicky, who is a business support manager for a counselling company, explained that her situation is exacerbated as she works from home so has no respite or time to get out from the busy house.
However, she says it is not the fault of her children as life is so difficult for young people and saving for a house deposit or being able to afford rent can be a real struggle.
“Jack is a vehicle technician and does earn quite good money, but by the time he has paid his bills such as car and phone and his maintenance, there is not enough for him to rent a decent place for him and his daughter.
“A house share is not ideal for him because of his daughter, who is two. I love our granddaughter to bits but we have her here every other weekend and Wednesday evening and have to make space for her and that is very difficult.
“Jemma works in a children’s nursery and has only just started a full-time job and doesn’t earn enough money. She has to stay at her boyfriend’s house a lot because there aren’t enough rooms or beds for everyone here, especially since her brother came back. Her boyfriend lives with his parents and neither he nor Jemma can afford a deposit for a house or to rent somewhere.
“Ella is a hairdresser and has just gone self employed, so her earnings can fluctuate. And at her age, I don’t think she is quite ready to move out anyway.
“Our youngest Eva, is still at school and she is lucky as she has her own space and her own room. I didn’t feel it was appropriate to tell her to move back into the room with her sisters so Jack could have the room again.”
Vicky says she feels embarrassed about their living situation, particularly with having four children in a three-bedroom house.
“It’s not ideal, but we have no choice given our circumstances,” she said. “Sometimes, I wonder about my future and my relationship and I feel that not having enough money impacts me, making me feel stuck where I am.
“The financial strain is a constant concern and affects my overall wellbeing. I am getting to a stage in my life where I am menopausal, trying to hold down a full-time job and trying to keep the house as minimalistic as I can when there are so many of us living here.”
Vicky says she did not charge Jack board when he lived at home the first time around, but mortgage rates and bills have gone up so much that she is now asking Jack and Ella to pay £100 a month.
“I know it is not much, but I absolutely hate taking from them – even though I know it is right as they need to know you have to pay for things in this world,” she said.
“Finances are difficult with the cost of living, so I just ask for a contribution towards things like electricity and water. I don’t charge Jemma as she isn’t really here much.
“But I don’t like asking my children for money and I feel disappointed in myself and wish things were different. However, I can’t see things changing in the short term and I wish there was more help for young people.”
Research carried out by Nationwide reveals that house-sharing embarrassment now sets in at 29, but 69 per cent of people say living alone is uncomfortable, so the average age of house sharers has crept up to 35.
Richard Stocker, head of savings at Nationwide, said: “With living costs continuing to rise, it’s no surprise that more adults are reconsidering their living arrangements and moving back into the family home, bringing added pressure around space, finances, and independence for all involved.
“While conversations about money can feel difficult in these situations, it’s important that people get the support they need.
“We offer tools and guidance both in our branches and online, on everything from our ISAs to our budget builder, to help people take control of their finances and work towards small, achievable savings goals.
“With the right support, situations like Vicky’s can feel far more manageable.”